Here is the lovely portrait my daughter rushed home from school to present me with.

“Mom – I have got a surprise for you!”

*blood runs cold*

I dig deep and muster the courage to dare and ask those dreaded questions of further inquiry that every parent fears regarding the pandora’s box of childrens surprises,

“Am I going to like this surprise …. what is it (thinking back to other so called ‘surprises’ that resulted in so much cleaning and or shaving cream)?!”

“Yes! You are going to love it! We got to draw a giant portrait today and I chose to do it of you!!!”

*major sigh of relief*

“Really? You chose me – thats so sweet. Let me see!”

“I drew you with a crown on!”

“Wow. I can see that. How come?”

“I noticed none of the pictures we have around the house, have you wearing a crown in them.”

‘Well that is true.  I don’t often wear crowns in daily life (or really ever).”

“Well you should! That’s why I drew you with one!”

“Agreed. I would look fabulous in a crown, I now see the error of my ways. Peyton you do actually realize I am not royalty?!”

“Moooommm, you don’t have to be royal to wear a crown! That’s why I bought you that (plastic) tiara for your last anniversary. And anyways you are the queen of this house.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

With renewed courage I take a deeper breath and ask,

“can we please talk about what’s going on with my shirt?”

“I drew you wearing a shirt with green flowers all over it, because thats your favourite colour!”

*lets out another sigh of relief*

“Oh, those are strategically placed flowers on my shirt!!”

“Why, what did you think they were?!”

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Just making sure I was seeing things as the artist intended…”

“What are you doing mom?”

“Posting a picture of this on Instagram – the world needs to see this!!!”

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

Hello World

Hello World: Peyton painted this giant picture of me at school today. The likeness is uncanny!!! And for the discerning viewer – those are flowers on my shirt. I asked.

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

“So mom – where are we putting it up?!”

Accidentally, I freeze and somehow pause for just a moment too long.

“You do like it right mom?!?!”

“Oh heavens – Yes! I LOVE it!! Not near enough people in this world draw me wearing such an understated crown!”

“Excellent. So we will put it up so everyone can see it!”

“Ok. Yes.  And obviously this is the best part, but it’s really large. I mean really, really large. So I will need to clear a 1.5 by 2 foot space (and you thought I was exaggerating on the size) on the wall (maybe move some less important things like those pesky wedding and baby photos) for it….

…..tomorrow.”

Great. Now I can’t wait to have all future guests get caught off guard with my green ‘flowers’ and miss my crown entirely.

Need some more hilarious kid moments?! Then check out how funny four year olds can be!

And feel free to check out my other daughter’s portrait of the real me.