Here is a snap shot into what it is like to spend a day with a four year old, through my side of the conversation on the following notable matters:

BREAKFAST

“I can’t understand you when you speak to me with a snorkel in your mouth”

*yes mom (answered through a snorkel)*

“You can’t wear snorkel equipment to take your sister to school!”

“Please don’t try and climb the stairs in flippers”

“No, no matter how hard you cry, you can NOT put pants on over flippers. It won’t work”

“No, you don’t have other pants that will fit over flippers”

“Yes. People WILL notice if you wear flippers and no pants…”

“No you can not wear the flippers to school if you wear a skirt…”

LUNCH

“Yes, you are a human! Don’t tell people you are not human yet, what you mean is that you are not grown up yet.”

“Yes. Sharks are meaner than me!”

“You can just say you like salmon. You don’t need to tell people you like dead salmon. No one is going to try to serve you live salmon.”

“OW! Please do not tie a skipping rope around my wrist and then your ankle and leap off things, it is wildly unsafe!”

“I just want to take a nap without you licking me.”

DINNER

“I don’t actually have to have spent time with alligators to be certain they have feet…”

“No I am not going to get us an alligator so we can check.”

“Unicorns are not real. It’s more than just because I haven’t actually seen a unicorn that I don’t believe they are real.”

*then me actually doubting myself for a moment and wondering if unicorns are real… because you know…narwhals…*

BEDTIME